Wrestling With The Angels
As you may know I recently have Relocated to California. The reason that I re located was that my dad who is 75 years old needs a little help. I know that some people that are reading this may be able to relate to a parent that needs our help. Luckily as you know, I have a life and a business where I can relocate or be in other places and still run my business. I know all too well that many people would have a harder time doing what I'm doing logistically. I am in the process of creating a life where I can be based here and help my dad, while I am able to fly across the country or around the world for a few days at a time and do some work and come back and still be there to help my dad with whatever he might need.
Since I still have many connections in New York City, I planned to go back there every few weeks do some work and return back to California. This week was one of those weeks. I planned. I made appointments. I was asked to speak at a conference. I would make new contacts for my business and I would make money for my bank account. Everything was perfect! All of these fit perfectly into the schedule where I could be gone for four days and my dad would be fine.
Well… Last week, my dad started to feel sick. My dad started to lose energy. I got suspicious that something was up. Finally two days before I was meant to leave to go to New York City we went to the emergency room. As I suspected he had an internal bleed from an ulcer in his stomach.
As it turns out, this all came at the exact time when I was meant to leave. Even though I knew why I came here in the first place was to be there for my dad, my "plans" may need to change.
At first, I was hoping that this would be a very quick thing. If it wasn't, I could rearrange things, people and places to make sure that my dad was okay. From there I was just like Jacob from the Bible wrestling with the angel. My ego went crazy. My ego wanted to make everything right. My ego wanted to have its cake and eat it too. My ego kept focusing on the money I would lose. My ego was focusing on the business opportunities that I would not have. My ego kept saying "You can work it out". My ego was telling me about all the people I would let down if I didn't go. My ego was telling me how I would be an inconvenience for canceling all the appointments and meetings that I had set up...
But, as is always the case when life happens and change comes into our life, my spirit knew... My spirit was saying "you know what will make you feel good". My spirit was saying "do what makes you feel good." And then it hit me with the biggest affront to the ego:"Do the RIGHT thing..." Uggggh...
If we are to walk a true mystical path, it is times like these when we are asked to ask ourselves this question: "Would you rather be right or would you rather be peaceful?" This is called wrestling with the angels and this is the story of our lives in many ways. How many times in our lives, do we have everything so well arranged, so well-planned, everything is "right" on a very superficial level, and then life happens?
Wanting to be right most of the time comes from the ego. Wanting to be peaceful and connected to the divine source comes from our spirit. If we continue to always choose to be peaceful then our lives have a flow and a peace and joy that is beyond what our ego can ever imagine. On the other hand continually choosing to always be right will get you well…
So back to my story, I kept on wrestling until I projected myself on the plane and flying to NYC. I asked myself what would that be like, even if I arranged everything for my Dad before I left? As I did that I got the immediate answer. "The "right" choice is the peaceful choice" Aha! A great sense of peace and knowing that everything is in Divine order washed over me. The angel had won the wrestling match. I began making calls to cancel and was met with love and support all the way around. The gifts from that choice are far greater than a few dollars or business contacts. Ahhh PEACE...
One of the most amazing things about spirit and walking a mystical path is that no matter how hard making the choice for peace may be, it will always reveal to us, that it is the real "right" answer. What is so incredible is how the ego will convince us if we do the peaceful thing, it will not be the right thing. The ego will tell us that we have to forsake or sacrifice one for the other. This is not the case.
Happy to say, my Dad is doing much better and I sit here writing at the same time my flight is leaving for NYC. Instead I'm getting ready to go spend valuable and precious time with my Dad.
As you go through your personal angel wrestlings remember that if you allow the angel in yourself to win the match, you can have peace AND do the right thing.
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