Do you know those times when you have decided to lose 30 pounds and you start to do it and somewhere down the line, maybe it’s just a couple weeks you begin to make excuses for not exercising or eating properly?
Do you know those times when you swear you’re going to finally organize that closet you’ve been ignoring for years, and one Saturday you begin to do it and then by the next Saturday it’s still not done and you just close the door again?
Or maybe it’s something as big as starting a business or writing a book. You tell yourself I have this awesome idea for a business and you know that it will sell. People will love it. And of course, it will feel great to be your own boss. Then you start to put together a website, you do some research, you might even begin to create a product or train yourself to be a professional in that business. Then, a few months down the road it seems like it was all just a dream and you’re back to your normal life? The same exact thing with that book that you promised yourself would write to years ago. You open up a storage box and you find a manuscript with three chapters written and you never finished it…
All of us have been there.
All of us know the pattern.
All of us, at some point have become victims of...self sabotage.
The problem is that most of us continue to self sabotage ourselves all over the place. It could be the smallest thing that you promise to yourself that you will do, to a big project. Actually the size of it doesn’t matter. Because every time that we self sabotage in any form, or at any level, what we are really saying to ourselves is that we can’t trust ourselves. We may claim on the surface that we are “do what you say, say what you do“ kind of people, but in the back of your mind you know that you have forsaken yourself in so many tiny and major ways over the years.
Now, there are many reasons that we self sabotage. And if we do not address and look at how and why we are self sabotaging we will continue in that pattern.
Today, I want to talk with you about the main reason that with self sabotage. The number 1 reason we self sabotage, is that we as humans, want and need to feel congruent. When I say congruent I mean that at our core we want our words, actions and deeds to be in alignment. We really do, as I’ve said before want to be “do what you say, say what you do” kinds of people.
The problem comes when what we believe about ourselves at the deepest level is not in alignment with what we are trying to do or achieve.
For example, if you say that you really do want to be organized, But way down deep inside, you have a believe about yourself that you are not organized and that you let things slip through the cracks or any other manifestation of un-organization, you will never be organized. No matter how much you want to be, you will begin to try to be organized and then you will self sabotage and your house will start to be a mess again…
Another example is that you may really want to have a very healthy, beautiful and successful relationship. And it seems that every time you get into one, something happens… Either you leave them or they leave you or any number of things could happen to dissolve the relationship. The fact is, that deep down somewhere inside you, you have a belief that you either do not deserve that kind of relationship or that you are flawed in some irreparable way that no one could truly love you. Or something is saying you are not capable of giving and receiving that deep expansive love to someone else.
Everything comes back to what you believe about who you truly are.
Your relationship with yourself is everything.
Did you hear me?
Your relationship with yourself is everything.
If you do not get your relationship with yourself clear and healthy, you will continue to self sabotage anything and everything in your life.
I’m sharing all of this with you today, because I have seen this pattern over and over with the people that I help to have a truly peaceful, joyful life and attract and create the life they truly want.
They come to me in the place of not knowing who they truly are. They come to me in a place where they’re sick and tired of self sabotage. They come to me in a place where they are ready to make the next half of their life amazing and not fall victim to these patterns anymore. They come to me ready and committed to change…
The incredible thing that excites me so much, is that years and years of self sabotaging behavior can be healed and transcended fairly quickly. These patterns can be changed. These patterns can be a thing of the past. These patterns are something, that when seen through a loving and supportive light, can be a bridge across fear, anxiety, frustration and even depression to an amazing experience of joy, peace and accomplishment.
In future blogs, I am going to break down some of these self sabotage patterns so that you can understand them more in your own life. I’m excited to share these to help you to get more clarity and understanding of the way that your mind might be working and how you can begin to change it for good.
I hope that this has made you think or opened your eyes to a few things about how you may be self-sabbotaging. PLEASE COMMENT BELOW HOW THIS MANIFESTS IN YOUR LIFE. I would love to hear!
REMEMBER: If you are struggling, I am here to help you. If you are ready to truly live in Joy and attract positive results, you can book a FREE time to talk HERE
Quit Taking it Personally
Happy Focus Friday!!
I have decided that I will start to do my blog again after a couple of years! We will be adding 1 blog a week on Fridays which will be a valuable focus to help you consider a question, give you some advice or something that will help you to retrain your mind to attract positive results in your life. I'm excited to share these with you! Our first one is all about how we take criticism and how to be our best when we feel the need to defend.
On our road to self actualization we need to look at how we take feedback and criticism. If we want to be the best at what we do and the best we can be, we need to look at our emotional reactions and what that reaction is telling us about ourselves. If we can just step back long enough and quit taking it personally, we will be able to stay in our own vibration and truly learn from the situation.
In this talk I gave on Periscope this week, I relay a story of when I had the need to defend when confronted with some feedback. I hope that the QTIP helps you!
After you are done, please leave your comments on how this teaching applies to your life below. I want to hear where you are and how I can help!
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